To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal …
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance …
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
ecclesiastes 3:1-8
When my niece Khloe was born my sister Jessica graciously invited my mom and I to the birth. For Kohen’s birth she again invited us to be present. Mom fulfills her motherly role of encouragement and comic relief whilst I give foot rubs and do the picture taking. It was an amazing and beautiful experience, but hard too. It was the first time either of us had been back in a hospital after Joey’s passing. Off and on through the hours spent at the hospital I could feel the panic start to rise up. All those memories. And then after Kohen was born, as they were cleaning him up in the warmer and I was taking some pictures, I couldn’t help but cry. Joey would have been so excited to meet him. He would have been so excited for Korban getting a brother. It’s hard because life is moving forward, it keeps going, we keep going. But we’re not forgetting Joey, we never will.
Jessica and Brian chose to use Robert as Kohen’s middle name in order to honor both Brian’s uncle who passed away in the last year, and Joey. It is so fitting. Brian’s uncle was like a father to him, and a mighty man of God. And Kohen is such a gift of God in the wake of Joey’s passing. And even though Kohen never got to meet Joey here on earth, he will always know about his sweet uncle Joey. Mom especially was so proud that they chose that name. We had to go to a doctor’s appointment in Phoenix for Jill, and Mom was eager to show pictures and tell them about little Kohen Robert.
It was hard being back in Phoenix, going to the clinic, going to St. Joseph’s. I had to go into the hospital to try and get Joey’s medical records. I about lost it when the woman asked why the patient couldn’t sign for the records.
The hardest part was poor Jill. She had to get an MRI, something that’s hard for her under the best of circumstances. Even before the MRI, when we took her to see Kohen, she just started to lose it, and finally we realized she too was having a hard time being in a hospital. In her little mind all she knows is that Joey kept going to the hospital, he was there a long time, and now he is gone. Thankfully they gave her some Versed along with anesthesia for the MRI, so she doesn’t remember. Mom and I, on the other hand, didn’t have the luxury.
It was good to see our ‘family’ at the clinic. They were all full of hugs, memories and love. We’ve been a part of the clinic for over twenty years, Jami started there. It’s odd that we only have one child there, Jilly. Jami is too old now, Juli isn’t eligible because of her citizenship issues. But they continue to love and support us.
Life continues to move forward, God is getting us through, and as it says in Job, the Lord gives and the Lord takes. And He has given us a beautiful little boy.
Kohen & Grandma
